Why do some trans people tell detransitioners they are suffering from “internalised transphobia”?

1. A shield against doubt
Many detransitioners hear the phrase the moment they voice second thoughts.
"My FtM friend tried to convince me that my desire to detransition was just because of internalised transphobia … He kept calling me ‘bro’ and ‘brother’ to ‘prove’ men can be feminine too." – thistle_ev source [citation:a95e86cb-2d7a-4cc9-a375-1ead883f80d3]
Inside trans circles the words work like a protective spell: if mis-gendered bodies, growing health problems, or plain unhappiness appear, the fault is moved away from transition itself and onto an invisible prejudice that supposedly lives inside the doubter. By naming the problem “yours,” the community keeps the larger story intact.

2. A thought-terminating cliché
Detransitioners often call the phrase a “thought-terminating cliché,” a quick way to end uncomfortable questions.
"It exists to protect the person from a more uncomfortable truth … a good thing that filters out the ones who can’t succeed and leads them to detransition." – recursive-regret source [citation:69ba3768-709f-49ba-beb7-c5b3aa86a9bf]
Once the label is applied, further reflection is framed as self-hate rather than honest self-assessment, nudging the person to stay on hormones or pursue more surgery instead of exploring non-medical ways to feel at home in their body.

3. A re-branding tool: “You’re just non-binary”
When someone says “I don’t think I’m trans,” the reply is often, “Ah, then you must be non-binary.”
"They gas-light you … ‘you have internalised transphobia’ or ‘you’re just non-binary’ when in reality you’re not." – Various_Tart7923 source [citation:2e52d3de-a4cb-4417-98ff-3f4d77744c26]
Instead of loosening the gender box, this move simply pastes a new label on the same box and keeps the person inside the belief system.

4. A defence of the “sexed-brain” story
Some trans people cling to the idea that they were “born in the wrong body.”
"I truly believed the sexed-brain idea … the thought that someone so sure they were trans could find out they weren’t felt like it could be used against me." – [deleted] source [citation:05d7f492-1533-4065-be64-bda6205cab74]
Detransitioners threaten that comforting story, so their existence is explained away as “internalised transphobia” rather than evidence that transition is not always the answer.

5. A power move: putting you on the defensive
Calling doubt “transphobia” forces the questioner to justify themselves instead of exploring safer, non-medical paths to peace of mind.
"Statements like ‘most people detrans because of transphobia’ put you in defence mode … a well-known power strategy." – furbysaysburnthings source [citation:f815a846-217b-4607-9c9d-68141416f485]

Take-away
If you are questioning your transition, remember: discomfort is information, not failure. Exploring gender non-conformity, talking with a therapist who does not push medical answers, and allowing your body to remain as it is can all be acts of self-respect. The “internalised transphobia” label says more about the speaker’s need to protect a belief than about your worth or your future.