Let them lead, not you.
People who have stepped back from transition warn that pressure—toward or away from medical steps—usually backfires. “You have to let your friend go through all of this on their own… just be there for them, continue to ask questions and bring up situations that may lead to more introspection,” says fir3dyk3 source [citation:01f1aa35-70d0-4de8-917b-c725debdc0a4]. Offer conversation, not correction.

Trade statements for open questions.
Instead of declaring what your friend “should” do, invite reflection: “If you could be a very traditionally attractive version of your assigned gender, would you push the button?… Are you transitioning to distance yourself from an uncomfortable past?” asks retransing source [citation:17b07054-11d4-4e0f-9594-943a12796767]. Questions like these help someone explore motives without feeling judged.

Look underneath the dysphoria.
Many detransitioners learned their distress came from poor body image, sexism, homophobia, trauma, or autism-related fixations—not an innate “wrong body.” “Really encourage them to consider where their feelings are actually coming from… how did they come to believe their body was wrong?” advises writteno source [citation:1bc22609-2fb5-4c05-88c7-ff72ded2827c].

Validate feelings without endorsing a path.
You can accept that someone is hurting without agreeing on the cure. “First just listen… validate whatever feelings she expresses without necessarily supporting any particular path,” notes Proper_Imagination source [citation:8d40b85f-d9d9-41fa-b77f-4e4e60b2cdf6]. This keeps trust intact while leaving room for doubt.

Share your own story as one data point, not a verdict.
If you’ve detransitioned, offering your experience can plant seeds: “If you open up about your own feelings… you’re not telling them what to do, but you are sparking ideas,” says novaskyd source [citation:d7deeaf1-f99b-4607-aaa1-41008323d8fc]. Keep it personal, not prescriptive.

Conclusion
Helping a friend question trans identity works best when you stay curious, non-directive, and emotionally present. Ask thoughtful questions, explore root causes together, and let them reach their own conclusions in their own time.